Liberty Hospital: Now open to serve our personal liberty loving clients
Could you Imagine visiting personal liberty hospital- here’s the rules-
1. Obvi nobody “has” to wear a mask. Not the patient coming in with TB, influenza or corona; certainly not the nurses or doctors. It’s their body and their choice whether or not they cover their faces for 12 hours as they move from bed to bed.
2. Hand washing is promoted but optional because there’s this one study that says it might not help. Thank you, Chad for bringing that to our attention. Also nurse Sherry has a skin allergy to soap so it’s not even possible for some people to wash. She carries a little exemption card so….(and that doesn’t even begin to address how agitated Marvin gets when he’s sticky-hand gel is a hard no for some.) not to worry, we really feel like this boosts everyone’s natural immunity.
3. Our beds are 1 foot apart and separated by a curtain for privacy that you can use if you want to but not because we believe that conspiracy shit about distance. We encourage hugging amongst patients. Human touch is really so important. Our nurses will offer hugs as well. We are a social species, putting walls between us is just, ick.
4. We allow as many visitors at the bedside as possible. We recommend pot luck style dining and in the spirit of community we encourage you to share food and fellowship with nearby patriots. We especially like it when you let small children crawl on the floor. It’s so cute when they suck their fingers right after. Adorable and so, so good for their developing antibodies. A nurse on YouTube made a video about it and it really spoke to us.
5. Lastly, we hope that you support our staff of dedicated liberty loving doctors and nurses as they exercise their option to (or not to) properly sanitize instruments and equipment between uses. The harmful chemicals contained in disinfectants combined with the hypoxia that those masks surely cause is a recipe for disoriented nurses and doctors and we really would just rather have them in tip top shape to attend to all of your medical and social and emotional needs without becoming dizzy or catching cancer from the harsh elements.
It’ll be our pleasure to serve the personal liberty loving crowd this flu and corona season. See you there!